The Paradox of Death & Life

A few weeks ago was Fall Break for the Christian International School of Prague. When we go away for short breaks I typically leave my plant in my classroom. Normally it can survive a few days without water. Unfortunately, this time It was more than a few days . . . because I forgot to water my plant all week. (I know, I know-- i'm a plant killer!)

When I returned, my plant was looking rather helpless. I looked over my sad remainder of a plant as I snipped the dead buds & leaves off of the top. Nonetheless, I held out the tiniest ounce of hope that what was left of my plant might live, and restrained myself from immediately tossing it into the garbage. A few weeks passed and though I was the most faithful of garden-nurses it continued in its sad state: a few green leaves and nothing more.

Last week we released for our Thanksgiving break. Just before I left I looked at my plant once more, gave it an smidgen of water and let it be. The plant simply wasn't recovering-- and I was about ready to give up on my patient. (Praise God that he didn't call me into gardening-- Or nursing!)

When I returned on Monday morning, I picked up my plant and held it up to the light, contemplating the healing process and assessing whether there was any reason to continue in hope. As I walked towards the garbage, I noticed something surprising to an amateur gardener: There were buds . . . but not at the top of the greenery where I expected them! The buds were emerging from the bottom of the plant . . . the top of the plant was still just as dormant as it had always been . . .  but there was life coming up from the ground. If I let this plant continue to heal, It will continue to replace the dead leaves with fresh green leaves. There will be life from death!

***

The past few months have been one of the hardest seasons of my life. I've been struggling with increased levels of anxiety and depression for various reasons-- and I've had to come to the hard conclusion, that ultimately, whatever the cause, God is allowing me to walk through this hard season. He is allowing me to feel very much like the dry, green plant that I nearly threw away.

But PRAISE God that he is a more faithful and patient garden-nurse than I am! He does not give up on me when I deem myself dry and useless-- he does not look at my dry, crackled leaves and think, "hope is gone." For, he knows that there is the potential for fresh, new leaves, and beautiful blossoms deep inside of me. I can't see them right now. But, I couldn't predict where those blossoms would emerge from, either. To my human eyes it didn't seem possible.

One of the ways I've been intentionally seeking to cling to truth in this hard time has been to memorize scripture. Though I'm a teacher at a Christian school, I've never been the most faithful 'memorize-r' of Scripture . . . The following passages are two of the passages that I've clung to more than any other in this rough season of life:

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose trust is in the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out it's roots by the stream

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Often, in this dry spell I've wondered how I can possibly be useful as a teacher, mentor, leader, or friend in this season. In my eyes I seem so small and so weak . . . but "in the year of drought, I will not cease to bear fruit." Praise God for this truth!

The Lord is my Shepherd;

I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me ALL the days of my life

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

How sweet it is to know that i'm being led in a path of righteousness . . . even when I feel more broken than ever. How pleasing to acknowledge that this is all for the GLORY of my God; that he DELIGHTS in bringing life out of death, healing to the broken. 

***

One of my students popped her head in after school. I regularly eat lunch with or have students stop by my class at the end of the school day, so her entrance wasn't unexpected or unwelcome. As I watered my plant, she asked me questions about it. I chuckled, and began to explain to her how God often teaches me through analogies. I explained how he showed me that I'm very much like the plant that I was watering.

. . . After a few minutes she looked at me and said, "that's really neat. Thanks for sharing this story with me!"


I hadn't thought much about God's little lesson for me throughout that day, but her response to my story made me see that it was likely an analogy worth sharing.

Blessings to each of you, and may you remember in both times of smooth sailing & difficult weather that our God is a God who brings life out of death and beauty from ashes.